The Girl off to 8th grade, the Boy off to 5th grade, the Baby a day without them!
Hi all! I'm Shanna, Wanda's daughter. I figured since she's on vacation, I'd hijack her blog and share my less than profound thoughts.
Today is the first day of school for my 2 older children. This day has come not a moment too soon!! My 13 year old is entering 8th grade and it seems since her 13th birthday, she has developed all of the teenage angst and attitude that you hear so much about. Where did that come from? She used to be such a pleasant child. The 11 year old is starting his 5th grade year and where we live, that means intermediate school instead of the elementary school just down the road. This is the first time he has to ride a bus and I know he's nervous about making sure he catches the right one after school. I, on the other hand, would welcome a few additional hours of respite from their constant bickering and badgering.
Summers are hard on us stay-at-home moms. I have a theory that we age 5 years for every 3 months we have to stay home with these creatures we call offspring. How did the generations before us survive? Well, I have a theory on that, too. Mom and I have discussed this in length, in fact. First, Moms of yesteryear were called housewives, not stay at home moms, and as such, the expectation was on keeping the entire home which included caring for the children. The main focus wasn't on the kids and they weren't expected to entertain us 24/7. We were expected to help Mom and entertain ourselves. Second, I think there were a lot of early afternoon cocktail hours. Not in my own childhood home, but watch the old 50's tv shows and see if you don't think Lucy Ricardo and June Cleaver aren't a little sauced. It seems the demands on today's parents have increased exponentially since even the time my mom had to endure the hot summer months with myself and my 2 brothers. We used to play outside all day long, coming in for lunch only and then back home when the porch lights came on. If we were thirsty, we drank from the hose. Now days, society looks poorly upon the parent that sends their child outside with a heat index of over 90. If you do send them outside, you must first ensure they are covered head to toe in SPF 1000, have a hat on, reflective gear and helmets for their bicycles and a constant source of water available to them. Really? Where are our children learning survival skills here?
I remember being allowed to go to the local recreation center at 10 years old to swim. My mom didn't take us to the pool, she bought us a pool pass and we rode our bikes 2 miles to spend the day with the lifeguards. She was busy with my little brother at home, who was much younger and couldn't go do the things my older brother and I could. My local pool requires the kids be 14 before they can go to the pool unattended. They have 3 lifeguards watching the pool at all times, as well as 4 -5 manning the entrance and rotating in to give breaks. If my kids want to swim, I have to pack for the day to go sit and watch them in the pool. All the while, thoughts of laundry to wash and bathrooms to scrub runs through my head.
When I was a kid, if I received an invitation to a birthday party, my mom would dress me up, stick a gift in my hand and send me on my way to the birthday child's house. Now? Birthday parties are social galas. Everyone expects some fancy party at a bouncy palace with gift bags for the guests. When did swag become a necessity? Why is the birthday boy or girl now expected to give their guests gifts? The treat used to be in the gathering of kids, having cake and ice cream and playing a few party games. I've tried to re institute the old fashioned birthday party a few times and heard the parents whispering about the lack of goody bags. Yes, now the parents have to stay for the parties, too. It puts a lot of pressure on parents to keep up.
I think today's parent is required by societal standards to spend so much more time with their children than ever before. We have to sit outside and monitor them while they ride their bicycles, we have to attend birthday parties with them in the houses of overgrown rodents, we are inundated with commercials to have family dinners and family game nights. Enough already! I had a fantastic childhood, full of adventure and summertime independence. I don't want to give the impression for one second that my Mom wasn't there for us. She is a great Mom and took care of our every need, but not our every want. What a great lesson to pass along. I think today's parent is expected to take care of every need AND want, which doesn't nurture an independent, strong, ambitious person. I'm swimming upstream against the current now and trying to recapture some of the parenting techniques of yesteryear. So yes, I CELEBRATE the first day of school because I feel I can breathe once again. And I did it without hitting the bottle. Amen.
